Myths of Boat Ownership

Revenant

Active Fisherman
Joined
Apr 5, 2012
Location
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
#1
So I woke up this morning thinking about what a pain in the assets it's going to be get my boat out by myself. This led me to thinking about all the boat ownership myths that are propagated by the industry. You know those BPS commercials where the guy is laughing all day long with his kid on the water, and then just tows the boat home to his mansion with his brand new truck. Those myths. Instead, I now present some facts that I've learned. Stuff that they didn't show in that commercial.

1. You never just drop the boat in the water....

When you need to go somewhere in your car, you walk outside, get in, and turn the key. Simple as can be. The boat, not so much. Assuming you don't have to load your gear like me, first you hook up the trailer, then prep it for towing by removing wheel chalks, attaching motor supports, checking electrical, and removing the cover. Now you drive to your boat ramp, which if it's anything like mine, is white knuckled thrill ride of meandering 18 wheelers, and people who can't understand that by cutting me off they've signed their own death certificate because I can't swerve! When you get to the ramp, if it's not overrun by tourists trying to get an airboat ride, you now have to prep the boat. Remove the straps, attach the ropes, and put in the plug. Basically, undo all that you did to trailer it. And then comes the fun part of backing down the ramp by yourself; one hand on the wheel, and the other on a rope so that you're $40K piece of fiberglass and 1950's engine tech doesn't float into someone else's $40K piece of fiberglass and 1950's engine tech. Finally, after tying the boat to the dock, you hope and pray no one steals any of your gear as you park your truck and trailer. Prime the bulb, start the engine, and you're on the water; hoping and praying no one breaks into your truck or steals your trailer while your gone.


2. Something is always breaking....

Oh that nice warranty that comes with a new boat will protect you from big bills right? HA! When I heard "Bust Out Another Thousand" was what "boat" actually stood for, I laughed. Now my VISA laughs. Something is always breaking, and when it's not breaking, it's in need of maintenance. Oh, and you better have the maintenance done because there is no AAA when you're out in the middle of a slough, 20 miles from the nearest anything, with alligators as your soul companions. Yep, that nice little surge brake system you bought as a cheap $200 option? Locked up in the middle of the highway. That sweet V6 engine you just couldn't live without? Need's an annual $800 maintenance. Just when you get that sorted out, you're hit with your registration of the boat, trailer, and truck all on the same day. Oh the joy...

3. Passengers have no clue...

Finally, after dealing with everything I've gone over already, you have one more issue; clueless passengers. Friends and family have no idea what it takes to run a boat unless they've owned one. They don't know that the "cute electric motor" up front needs two monster batteries that have to be charged after every trip. They have no clue that the engine has to be flushed, the gear removed, and god help you if you went into the salt because now everything, and I mean everything, must be washed off. No, they just hop on at the dock after complaining you were 5 minutes late while your knuckles are still white from the guy on the cell phone that drifted into your lane while you were stuck in traffic. The washing, waxing, fueling, and greasing is lost on them. I love the expressions I get when I tell people that my fuel economy is almost 5 miles to the gallon and that's good! What do you mean you don't have a fishing license?! How are you sea-sick?!


Still, despite all of this, and the monthly groin kick my bank account suffers as a payment, there is no better feeling then running down the lake to you're favorite fishing hole. The freedom of going into any cove, the feeling of cutting across the lake, and the fun of a high speed run are worth every second. Wait! Why is the engine alarm going of now?!
 
Last edited: