- Joined
- Dec 12, 2009
- Location
- Murfreesboro Tn.
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said I had the biggest
'member' she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg."
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet .
I went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until
he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind
my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair."
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated
but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So,
I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one
point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, the correct answer was Africa !!!
There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping centre, but I've
been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly
past schools.
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her
twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a mustache."
I just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I
said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"
Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the
lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."
The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the
floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.
'member' she had ever laid her hands on. I said, "You're pulling my leg."
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet .
I went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until
he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind
my back." He says, "What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair."
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated
but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So,
I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one
point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair?
Apparently, the correct answer was Africa !!!
There's a new Muslim clothing shop that opened in our shopping centre, but I've
been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new bomber jackets.
You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly
past schools.
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her
twin. I said, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother's got a mustache."
I just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on Facebook. I
said, "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!"
Next thing I know 4,000 Muslims have added me as a friend!!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the
lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular people-porn, you sick bastard."
The Red Cross just knocked at our door and asked if we could help towards the
floods in Pakistan . I said we would love to, but our garden hose only reaches the driveway.