- Joined
- Nov 4, 2010
- Location
- Shrewsbury Ontario Canada
Michael (an alcoholic) was sitting at the bar one night thinking to himself that he better not get too loaded tonight or the Mrs will know he’s been out drinking and give him what for. One drink after the other he kept telling himself, if I just keep pacing myself she will never suspect a thing.
Well eventually the inevitable happens and Michael gets so drunk that he doesn’t quite make it to the men’s room and throws up all over himself. The tired old drunk begins to weep knowing this will be his undoing and surely his wife will have had enough after this escapade.
Well another gentleman at the bar see’s Michael weeping and understands the predicament he’s in so he decides to help him out. He asks Michael what seems to be the trouble? Michael replies that his wife is going to kill him when she see’s that his last clean work shirt has been ruined by the stain and smell of an entire nights drinking.
The friendly man says to him now don’t you fret sir, here’s what you need to do. You see this here $10 bill? Put it in the breast pocket of your shirt, and if your wife gives you the business here’s what you tell her. Say that you were on your way home from the office when you ran into another stumbling old drunk in the street. He vomits all over your shirt and feels so badly about what happened that he gave you this $10 bill to cover the cost of getting your shirt dry cleaned.
Michael’s tears ran away and instantly he was rejuvenated with a new found joy. What a genius plan this was surely his wife would have to believe him. He thanks the good man and they part ways home. Some time later Michael eventually makes his way home only to meet his wife at the door waiting for him with scornful look in her eyes.
Before she can even get a word out Michael pipes up and says I know what you’re thinking Hunny, I can explain everything. Michaels wife disgusted at the sight and smell of her husband was however intrigued at what he had to say and demanded and explanation.
So Michael tells her exactly what he was instructed and pats his pocket to show his wife that indeed the old man had offered to pay for his dry cleaning. She reaches into his pocket and pulls out two $10 bills. She says to him what’s all this then? I thought you just told me he only gave you $10 to get your shirt cleaned up. Michael responds sorry Hunny, I almost forgot, the poor guy just couldn’t hold it and crapped in my pants too!
Well eventually the inevitable happens and Michael gets so drunk that he doesn’t quite make it to the men’s room and throws up all over himself. The tired old drunk begins to weep knowing this will be his undoing and surely his wife will have had enough after this escapade.
Well another gentleman at the bar see’s Michael weeping and understands the predicament he’s in so he decides to help him out. He asks Michael what seems to be the trouble? Michael replies that his wife is going to kill him when she see’s that his last clean work shirt has been ruined by the stain and smell of an entire nights drinking.
The friendly man says to him now don’t you fret sir, here’s what you need to do. You see this here $10 bill? Put it in the breast pocket of your shirt, and if your wife gives you the business here’s what you tell her. Say that you were on your way home from the office when you ran into another stumbling old drunk in the street. He vomits all over your shirt and feels so badly about what happened that he gave you this $10 bill to cover the cost of getting your shirt dry cleaned.
Michael’s tears ran away and instantly he was rejuvenated with a new found joy. What a genius plan this was surely his wife would have to believe him. He thanks the good man and they part ways home. Some time later Michael eventually makes his way home only to meet his wife at the door waiting for him with scornful look in her eyes.
Before she can even get a word out Michael pipes up and says I know what you’re thinking Hunny, I can explain everything. Michaels wife disgusted at the sight and smell of her husband was however intrigued at what he had to say and demanded and explanation.
So Michael tells her exactly what he was instructed and pats his pocket to show his wife that indeed the old man had offered to pay for his dry cleaning. She reaches into his pocket and pulls out two $10 bills. She says to him what’s all this then? I thought you just told me he only gave you $10 to get your shirt cleaned up. Michael responds sorry Hunny, I almost forgot, the poor guy just couldn’t hold it and crapped in my pants too!